Brand new start

well hi. my picture so chio right. hahha (shiok sendiri sia) okok whatever. so im going to town after posting, yes going town alone. hell yeah, cool kepeeeeee. meeting cousins there, bahahaha.

ok la, today i rot at home, sibeh sian. going out alrdy, so hey-pee!! buai. anw what should i wear, mhmmmmmmmmmm. kkk i know liao, chalo!!!

I love my post picture! ;woots

Hello readers!! Okay, today went well i guess? I've really made decisions for my life. I've deleted him from my msn list (Y) and i will add him back when i've already 1000000000000000% moved on from him ^^ Hehe wise choice kan3? :D

So last night i was crying myself to sleep, but my tears are reluctant to come out, stupid. Lol, so i went to sleep without charging my cell!!! $@^*$# Suay to the max, seriously -_- So i woke up at 7.30am upon Hannah's text.

Bath, went out. Mrt to Sembawang, waited for Hannah at Macdonald's. So met her already, bought meal. Didn't wanted to eat, but. I ate afterall, in case Hannah nags eh. :/ Haha! So i ate, we sat outside. Then told her every single thing. Then she was kinda pissed with me being so stupid. But what2do, this is life, its over :-)

So after meeting her, headed to Sasa! ^-^ Bought a Elle Lipgloss with her, nyhehe. Chio sia! Sweet too <: Then we went to toilet, and wtf, Sunplaza's toilet stink to the max. -_- Then we went to sit outside then Fiona came :)

Met Fiona, went to wait for Taxi with both of them, then Hannah board the cab already, me and Fiona headed to Fiona's crib. Waited for her to bath and we headed to Town. And omg, her dad is v v v v v v v v young!!! ._.

So took Mrt there, got this 2 angmoh damn man, lol wtfz. -.- Then we alighted, headed to Paragon. Reach there, stone. Look at the place where the fair is use to be at, walked past the Burberry shop. Went to basement and sat down, talked to Fiona. Cried too. But i didn't let tears dropped, cause if it drops, dead. I won't stop.

So after that, headed to Takashimaya. Headed to Level2, don't ask why too. That level holds memories too. Wanted to say hi to someone, but someone wasn't there, its okay, i know its fate to not let me bump into her, if not she will bombard me with questions i guess? :/ (Fana & Fiona knows who's working at Taka) ^^

Then we went off to Far East, had lunch. Then stayed till about 4+ and off we took bus and left. Mom told me something that really made me damn happy, kwakwakwa! :P Took 190 back, on the trip back, really think alot, till im so tired of it.

Im really going to move on, and yes i know i will suceed :D
From today onwards, if i were to bump into you, i want myself to be unaffected.
From today onwards, i will be ignoring all the texts/calls from guys. Call me selfish or what, blame it on my past. Im so afraid of falling in love now. :/
I must not cry for any guy from tonight onwards ^^v

Want to thanks Hannah Sweetaye Chic & Fiona Akl, seriously without both of you, i think i'll collapse today and probably faint. Lol jk. I am seriously so lucky to have both of you with me. Thanks for listening and helping me to really sort it out and move on from everything.

Hannah, thanks for waking up early in the morning and cab to Sunplaza for me. Thanks so much, i appreciate it alot. Seriously, a-l-o-t! I know i look very sulky, but i managed to smile before you left. Thanks so much, meet up soon again. And all the secrets between us shall be kept, tightly! Love you 2themax, ;mua! :-*

Fiona, thanks so much my dear, you have been with me since i knew you. We started talking like we've knew each other for like years, which is to unbelievable. I know you are tired from the event but you didn't complained. Im so sorry to trouble you, but i know you really want me to be alright so you came. Thanks so much Akl. I know i almost cried infront of you, argh. So sorry, and i will be alright. :) Meet up soon with your guailan boyfriend aka Nelson Chua okie? ^^

Im done, and most importantly, thank you lad, you made me stronger. Thanks to all those who made the effort to comfort me esp my Sissy Cho. Thanks so much, and thanks Hady for calling me to make sure im okay. And to you too, Rizal Snuffle :D

Astalavista! :D

My love.

Okay, after this post, i guess it will be a sad post ahead. So just 15 minutes before 27th Febuary arrives. I know its really time for me to let go if everything goes as what i expects. We stays near each other, we goes to the same school, we may bump into each other on every tuesdays. You are on my screensaver.

I don't know how to remove/avoid it. The love in me for you is still there, but one day, i'm going get it remove no matter what, even if i have to hurt myself. I always have the urge of texting you, giving you a hug whenever i sees you, but its impossible.

I broke up with you because of your changes, the way you treat me. Not because i found another guy during our time-out. When i broke up with you, i have to act strong, i never even shed a tear infront of anybody. I am really acting strong at the point of time. You apologised, you said you don't deserve my forgiveness.

Who will not forgive the one who they loves the most? Nobody. I always forgave you for what you do, i never bear grudge towards you in me. Right now, i can see that you have already moved on, cause you didn't replied my text message since this morning.

10 more minutes to go. So tomorrow, i really expect myself to expect what i expects and not what is unexpected. Like you know me, i always think negative, i don't think positive. Cause my positive is You, not me. I have low confidence in myself, my life, my everything.

Im not clingy for sure, im just sticking to one. I can't believe that i want you back after everything we've been through. Look at this, i want you back. I guess, its impossible. But i know there's a glimpse of hope, as long as 28th Febuary ain't here yet.

I sayang you alot, i've made the first move. I didn't let the ego in me bring me down, i know its so unusual for a girl to want a guy back in her life. But if its for the one whom i love its worth it. But if you didn't managed to read this post, at least i've tried. And i will learn my lesson.

7 more minutes, and im absoluetly done with this post. Takecare Ayun. I love you much! :-*

Jangan Menyarah

I know i've posted this picture before, but it doesn't kill to post it again right? Had headache again today, its been 1 week since this headache is with me, so unbearable -_-

So had Kfc with Selvie, Kk & Venu @ Central. After that went back to office, not much work to do, so i was tumblr-ing all the way, secretly of course. So Mr Rick summon me to his office and Selvie & Yingnan gave me a "Shit!" look. I wasn't really worried, so i went in, he asked about how's work, school etc etc.

And he said i can apply leave anytime i want cause i'm suppose to have holidays! Hahaha good thing!! ^-^ Happy happy me~ But he became somehow sacarstic when he talked about my late-coming topic zzz. He said he will buy me a clock, wtf. -_- Muke die mcm nk sepak sia!!!!!! Hahahah wtf!

So till 6pm, went home by 961. Took a very laoyah bus, but got space ah, so takpe. I fell asleep till 2 old man started shouting to the driver, forced the driver to just drive forward in the middle of the jam. I think both of them are sick, but i was amazed with the driver's attitude, he didn't shout back and he even said sorry! Cool eh, i loike. ^_^ (Y)

But very lembat eh, took me 2 hours to get from Red Hill - Bukit Panjang. Was very tired, didn't had the mood to even go home although im tired. Wanted to sit down under the void deck of my block's, but i was afraid that i will think of the past so i went home.

My dog came and greeted me, but it was limping while its on its way to me and greet me. My heart ache when it was limping. I hope it gets well soon, lemme show you'all my dog, damn cute! ^_^



I hope it gets well soon! :-)

-

Today i was looking thru all the 825 messages that you've send me. From the day that i waited for Hazmi at 12th floor till last week. I cried when i saw those messages. I just couldn't believe that we are no longer couples, i can no longer spend time with you. I have no more goodnights messages. When i saw "Nk stead???hehe" i seriously cried, my heart aches, and everything came back at 1 shot.

Heading to Paragon tomorrow alone, ok cool. Its time to really let go. I've made the first move, its up to you to make the second move anot. Please, i hope i can really get what i want, you have got till tomorrow when i leaves Paragon.

May god please bless me the strengths that i'd need.

For the last time, Ayun I Love You.

Its still you whom i'm loving.

there's always that one person, no matter how long its been or how badly they've treat you, if they say they love you, you'll say it back.

Tomorrow is the day, i am not ready.................

We use to be talking on the phone till we are tired.

So hi everyone, i've deleted my 2 previous post as i think its very disturbing, haha okay i know i am very lame. So shall start posting alrightz. :-)

Woke up at 7am, bath, went out. Took Lrt, saw A crossing the road. Took the 2nd 961 as it was full. So 2 963 passed, recieved a text from Eileen saying that she saw me, haha how cute. :-)

So went to work, i was early, i reached 15 minutes before 9am, so rare. :/ So did usual work etc, lunch at Central. Then went home at 6pm. Super shag.

Took 961, stupid china noobs from hwachong doesn't know how to stand properly in the bus, i think they are around 19+ and they are still acting like as tho they are 12 year old. I got pissed off and i made a very loud "tsk" and they kept quiet. If not never ending sia, -__-

So reach home, Justin & Aiyin were at our house, so chat a lil, bath, online. Changed my name to Emily Amelia instead of Emily iEmz. Hahaha, mcm cool eh? Idah love changed it for me, ^^v.

Was very down just now, i've made a very harsh decision, never thought that i will do it or even think of it. Fadhila has instructed me not to make any harsh decisions when she is away, but i don't know why am i so stubborn.

Kinda pissed with guys nowadays, i don't know what to do, malas nk layan lagi, please give me a break. Please!

Im heading to Paragon this saturday. The place where i spend most of my holiday at, peeking at boyfriend while he is serving customers, pick him up for work, teman him for ciggy breaks, talk to him when he is bored. Of course there's bad memories there, but the good memories wins.

I want to put everything behind, i want to let out all my unhappiness, i want to cry all it out. Hannah is going with me, i hope i can really cry my heart out..

I really love you alot Ayun, but i know, you are attached, im stupid to break with you, i admit i do want you back, i know you are single, i know everything. Perhaps, you just don't want to take me back and you don't know how to say it so you just said you are attached as an excuse. I know im not good enough for you, i know very well. All i can say is that i sayang you alot, want me to let go? It can be done, all i need is to just force myself.. I cannot make myself open my heart to anyone.

I am absolutely useless in this, im weak. I miss you & i love you alot.

All i can say is, you will regret.

Hi everyone, im here for a second post. Had dinner with Viv at Clementi. Then reach home around 7+ Went online, chatted with Rena, Nelson, Ayun, Emma. Went to bath after that. Wante to break down but i failed -.-

So i went back online, chatted with Fadhila, Fieza, Nelson, Fiona, Lingsheng, Billy, Rena, Yanna & Farhan. Texting with Yihan at the same time, seriously, he make me laugh and angry at the same time, he kept calling me malay girl. Urgh -__- But nevermind, he managed to make me laugh although we both kept having conflict, scorpions mah. AHAHAHA.

So yeh, im only chatting with Fadhila, Huzaifah & Rena now. Was reading some horoscopes on some websites, its so true. I checked Leo, Sagitarius (i know i spell wrong, but who cares) & Scorpions. Its so freaking true, omg i was so amazed.

Im going offline soon, im working tomorrow :-( Today i was real upset since after lunch break, don't ask why, its the same old reason, fuck right, haiya. :-( What2do, my hart broke into 2pieces liaox. :-( Sad case, i cmi already loh. Nevermind, i assume, its only for every tuesday :]

So i've decided on something...... But i don't know whether am i serious about it. So yeh, whatev. Im going to call Fadhila later'on, gotta tell her everything. I seriously, need her!!

Im getting a iPod Touch with someone.. Nyahahahahha, yay!! Sweeeeet! I loiiiiiiike, thanks for making me smile nub, i know you won't read this so im going to write something, try your best and i'll really go for chinese okiez. :) Cause now my heart is still for... You know la.. :-(

Hahaha im done, omg idk why am i so happy for no reason suddenly, siao already. Im kinda disappointed with them, why must people change? Mhmm, everybody is changing~ lolmaoooo.

So today me and Fana didn't chatted at all, im most worried that she will change too. God please, don't allow that to happen, cause i got a feeling that both of us will drift apart. >: Anyway im going offline!

Sooooo kthxbai! Love you all, tag me alright!

And anyway, rena said : "cb don't know how to add laoniang uh" to me and i laughed. lol idk why i laugh also but i find it funny, okay whatever. Cb lol!!! I miss her anyway^^

The reason is you.

So hi readers, i know i've not been updating for the past 3 days and my blog seems so dull kan? Okay so i shall start blogging now alright. Im in school now, mrs tan is not here which means 3 hours of free lessons. :)

So for the past 3 days i was at Fajar (almost for the whole 3 days). Function was okay, very tiring, falling sick very soon. Some liondance guys are real sick, nk mintk number pun paisey, alamakkkkk bapok la tu. Lmao, okay that guy somehow look like Assy. :) Shall not talk much about it alr la, anyway we celebrated Daddy's 37th birthday there :>

So today i woke up at 8.30am. I am already late for school, so i dragged my time, bathed, went out at 9am. (Hahaha) Texted Viv, we decided on skipping the first lesson, so i met her at Clementi, had breakfast @ KFC. Then we walk back school, just before 10 minutes lesson starts, we reached school.

Faris and co came and started asking where did we go during the 1st lesson, nyhahahah. So after a shortwhile, da lunch break. Went out with Aslina, Evan, Evan's friend & Viv. Had KFC again. Then we took 182 (?) back to school. While walking, was praying so hard that i won't see him cause i have the feeling that i will see him.

And tada, it didn't came true, i saw him. Was panicking and i immediately grabbed Viv's hand and i felt like crying. I ignored, i was trying so hard to ignore. Then Aidil called me and i failed, i looked at him and then i walk away. Then suddenly... Skip this alright...

Then walk in to find Faris and co, they saw my face and they asked what happened and they was kinda pissed off. Was texing with Noob and i was real upset. :-(

A female deserve respect more than a male does. You're definately not a male nor a female.
I don't know why do i love you so much. Thanks so much...

Im crying :'-(

Its something i do everyday, sulk.

Hi readers, sorry for not posting last night as i reached home around 1am+. Shall talk about yesterday then. (Anyway i abandoned my work for blogging eh, haha i have to rush before mr r comes back to office :/)

Had half day leave, headed to SGH by cab. Met mom & dad there, then they left. I waited for Grandma's report at the A&E block for so many fucking hours. So Aunt came after that, went to have some snacks at Bangawan Solo. Had Mango Cake! ^^

Then went back again, fucking system. And this fucking ultra giant nurse actually ignored me when i call him sia, cb! Think i small kid can ignore ah? Cb, you guys gotta see this:

Me: Fuck the giant, i wanna see his name and report! (talks loudy to aunt)
Aunt: Who? (Laughs)
Me: The giant la, i ask him question, he diao me and walk away.

The giant heard and when he walk past me, he hid his nametag! Fuck youuuuuuuuuuu. I am very sure i will see you again, just you see giant. Mcm sial. _1_

So waited for Grandma's admission for about 3 hours. Shag to the max although i didn't do anything but sit. My buttock turned sore. LOL!! After that had dinner at foodcourt, then i cab down to Fajar.

Told the Uncle to reach asap and he drived as though im really rushing. Lol! Outram to Bpp = 14.20$. Cheap aye! But he drive very fast as tho im flying, lol scary much seriously... Hahahah! Reach already, went home with Mom, changed, went Fajar again.

Stay there till about 1am. Went home, washup, sleeeeeeep. Tired to the max.

Heading to Town later on with Fiona. Meeting her at 1.15pm ^^ I can't wait to see her again, and im gettin the bag from her, nyaha! Nelson, see this hor.... :D

Well i can't wait, gotta shop for Dad's present later'on at ION. Hope i won't buy anything already, i spend 100$ last week on clothings already... Damn. Lol!

I doubt im blogging for the next few days? Mhmm, just take note of my twitter updates la, and keep my tagbox alive yupppppp ^^

Chiaos!

I want to be with you like how i use to.

So im currently kinda sad huh.... I'm still brooding over what Nelson said just now. Yes, if he hadn't talk about Hongster, i won't even think that i've actually got hong-ed by 2 guys in 6 months. How stupid am i......

Why am i always so stupid to fall so deeply with 1 person and decides to put my 100% into our relationship, always having the confidence that we will last till we dies. After breaking up, i'll cry, goes quiet for some days, stop smiling, and still you won't care. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! O_O

So now im thinking of this, after this post i shall go and get to sleep, i don't want to fucking think of this, its so disturbing and saddening. I seriously hope all my ex boyfriends who hong me die or rot in hell. Fuck you idiots, may your balls rot and never have children. Or better still, be left widowed. Okay joking, im still friends with one of my ex, hahahahahahaha. Fuck the rest okay, cheebye. Talk big, you belong to the big world eh? Fuck eh, fuck you, fuck your motherrrrrrrr.

Told Nelson & Fiona what i did with Fadhila. And guess what, he don't wanna friend me siol!! Hahaha, he jitao say this...

Him: Don't talk to me anymore.

Me: Eh why sia....

Him: You do be4.

Me: Now never already la, wtf. Ex likethat la.... :(

Him: Ok lah...

Hahahaha, i can't believe i can still get along with him after our "breakup". But i prefer Fiona than him, he is a moron who like to bully me.. kor kor?! Hakpui, cus of my bag that's why i call you that de, if not FAT HOPE!!!! :p

And i'd like to say thanks to Akl for helping me to buy that bag from FEP! ^^ I love you Akl, thanks aye, meet soon alright! :D

Guys guys guys.. Why must you guys always hurt those girls who love you deeply, those who don't want you to leave unless they really asked you to.. Why is it that the condition 'Ladies First" is not applied on this situations?

What's wrong.... I do miss my ex, i really miss him alot. I cannot forget him, i don't know why. Fuck, just let him stay in my memories i guess, nobody can really take over him i reckon....

Im done. So sad nao. :(

I never told you that i kept all in my heart.

Okay hello readers! I've made 2 animations out of so many-pictures that we took using Shakir's laptop. Well, to me i love this 2 the most, especially the one on the right, hahahahah. I know i look so fucking weird but i had fun, seriously. Lol!!

Today i went for work reluctantly, i off my alarm, and i continue to sleep, but i end up going for work la, but i feel so unhappy. I hate working zzz. So bath, went to take lrt and took 961. Luckily got empty seat, if not.... Cb i think i'll sleep by standing up (i can do it, lol)

Alighted, went to office. And i wasn't late, omg so surprising yeaaaaah \m/ So i didn't talked at all, very pissed off for no reason, i was having a bad backache and headache, felt like dying at that point of time, temperature was rising, but im lazy to go home so i decided to tolerate it. Chey, im strong. HAHAHAHA.

So during lunch time, didn't ate much, slept for the whole 1 hour, felt better after waking up. Wanted to watch Gossip girls but Selvie's iTouch no battery ): So i rot till 6pm. Took 961 home, trained to Cck. Met Fad & Aisha. Had KFC. :D :D

Then after eating, went home, wash up, online. Im going to sleep very soon, thank god, friday is here.... Hahahaha, but i still feel unhappy, i don't know why eh, uhmmz.

Stupid Nelson just call me (Hope he won't see this, if not he chiongong my bag) He demanded me to call him "Korkor" on the phone if not he will take my bag. Sad die me, i kanchiong like hell and he kept laughing. And he fucking call me Hongster. Cb, he then hongter lor, nabeh. Lol!! I tiongxim okay.. Wtf, bully me, si nelson, gnd....

Anyway Fiona Akl help me bought the bag i want already, yay thanks akl, love you muchz. :D

On msn with Lingsheng now, was on msn with Yimling & Ayun just now... :) I got no mood eh, i don't know why, i think im seriously falling sick.

I hope you know that i still cares for you, that's why im worried. But after recieving your response, i know, im wrong. Mhmm, my bad....

Chalo.

Giving up soon.

Song playing : Taking Back My Love.
Msn with : Vivien Goh Ah Huan.

At office now, today i wore jeans, brown tanktop and a checkered button top. I am half sick, half healthy. Lol what is that? O_o Whutever, so tomorrow is friday. And i have to work on saturday too, fuck my life.

I don't want to continue traineeship already. 15 mins to go till lunch break, finally. Im giving up soon. Im dead tired from all these rubbishes.

I am a student, i don't wanna work but study. I want to have PE lessons, my friends with me. Office doesn't even have PE lessons. Let alone friends, fuck.

Argh fuck my life. Fuck you.

Right before my eyes, you appeared and shot me.

Okay hello readers. Im here to post for today. I don't really have the mood to post anything but i will just post la.

Woke up at 8am, fuck headache. Zzzzzz. Bath, went out. Went to Yewtee, met Kamilah. Then met Fana and had Macodonald's. Then we slacked around there and met Fadhila. Went to Jelapang, had Kamilah's hair cutted. Then we went to Pending, then 184 to Cdss.

Reached gate, bomb Mr Gary's phone. Fucking security guard's attitude mcm cb!! So Mr Nasim let us in :p Saviour, lol he saved us from the hawt sun outside, he is still the best afterall! So went in, headed to Canteen first, omgay, i miss school canteen like hell.

The first thing i did was to sit at the usual bench where we always sat at. And i will turn to my left and found out that, everything is different now, i can no longer see those NT students seating on those benches anymore. Kinda sad huh, well its over. So when students are dismissed, more and more came. Met Shakir and co, passed my skirt to Kathie. Hope they can fit cause im fat, lolololomao :P

Then we went to General Office and get the certificate. Then went to find teachers, then met Ahmad & Rayyan! Then slacked in school for awhile and off to Bpp. Then went to Mac, find Shakir, Jenica & the super arrogant but hot Angelo. :] So had lunch settled there, had mcwings, and fyi, i've eaten MAC for the whole day today, wtf fucking fat sia :( Ah takpe la. Haha!

So back to topic, Fadhila left to meet her mom @ Novena. Angelo bounced back home, leaving me, jeni, shakir & fana. Headed to library, unable to connect to wireless so gave up and played with his webcam. Damn seriously, i kept laughing with jeni so much till that my tears came out. Hahaha, shakir will upload it tomorrow, hehe i hope he won't forget eh. :/

So headed back to Mac and left home around 7+pm. Walked home, bath, online. Today i met alot of familiar faces, shall name them out aye? :]

Shakir, Jeni, Izzuan, Michael, Rena, Michelle, Emmeline, Desmond, Sebastian, Ren An, Yimling, Jinhua, Fadluddin, Mazhab, Aini, Angelo, Yunru, Shikin, Adik Bammy, Fiq, Mustaqim, Fatullah, Justin, Kelly, Tina, Sakinah, Raihan, Ahmad, Azman, Aaron. Im sorry that i forgotten the rest, wtf. Blame it on my lousy memory eh.

Had a talk with Mrs Kalai, Mdm Teh, Mr Fadzil, Mr Lee, Mr Raj. I miss them teaching and nagging at me esp Mrs Kalai & Mdm Teh. Mhmm, i miss secondary school days life so much. ITE sure sucks hell much, esp traineeship. Fuck sial, i seriously hate the education systems now.

Ugrh, nevermind, i shall wait till July for the Cck ITE to be ready and then i'll be able have my own friends rather than to be with my class which is filled of fucking racist. Okay not racist, but some idiotic morons. Chinese girls VS Chinese girls eh. Fuck, im a chinese myself too and you fucking wanna be racist with me just because i hang out with malays? Fuck yourself bitch, you fucking kingkong, cb. -___- Every lesson wear the same outfit.... (inside joke lol)

And fuck, working tomorrow, hope i gets well tho, i don't want my fever to come back. Haiz. Well tomorrow is thursday, then friday. Time please travel quickly, i got enough of nonsenses already, i really need 2010 to end as soon as possible.

2009 was not a great year but it was nice enough cause im in cdss.

2010 sucks the most, i had a great start out by patching back with him. New school sucks hell lot, out of 4 weeks, i skipped 3 weeks's lessons. Cool huh, lessons are so boring seriously. Geez, all i have to do is just to tahan. :(

So yes, im done with my post. I want a boyfriend also leyyyyyyyy :(

& im on msn with Yimling & Irene right now. Mhmmm. I miss cdss alot..... I wanna go back soon, pleeeeeeze.

I can never get you to love me again.

Okay proper post despite being in a very sad mood. But afterall, life goes on. And i know this wonderful stalker of mine are always reading my blog and Fieza's. And you know why i call her wondeful stalker? Is because that when i haven't even asked her to relink me, when i haven't even announced my link, she had already relinked me, how efficient aye? :]

Well well well, i am real proud to have You as my stalker, but get this into your head, my blog my say, not happy with what i posted? You have to either swallow everything up or just click the red button on the top right hand corner aye. I won't private my blog cause i know you want to read it. :)

So shall start with yesterday. Went to Ubi, then did some work then headed to Town with Yeeru. Far East was 90% closed, so we headed to ION and shopped. Only dropped by CottonOn, Zara & NeuLook. Then met Mama & Uncle. Went to Starbucks, had Cappucino then off to Charles & Keith. Safwan (the salesperson) served me and god, he is so cute! Haha suke eh, tak la! So bought a pair of heels from there, walked to Paragon, and memories came back. Okay skip this, then went to Heeren to have dinner.

After that went to Somerset 313, then trained to Clementi. Took 154 over to Hongleong. Met Dad & Mom there. Stayed there till around 11pm+ i think? Went home, wash up, played poker with Dad, Mom, Yongsheng, Yeeru & Eugene. Then washed movie and was texing with Yi han for the whole night, then off to sleep around 3am.

Woke up by Fad's call, then bath, watched tv. Went to Pending to meet her and Fana. Went to Jelapang, went to Mr Gary's crib. Chitchatted, got to carry Shanice (Mr Gary's youngest daughter) Then stayed till about 12.45pm, went to South view. Waited for Joshua, then headed to Tina's crib. Sayang Pepper, omg its so cute. Nyhaha, then off to Lot1.

Had Kfc, then Fadhila left. Skip this aye, kinda disturbing. Haha so Fiq came over, then off to Watson, bought nail polish, and lipgloss. (Its my very first time buying lipgloss, im finally becoming a real lady, like wtf) So we went to the back of Lrt and lepak.

Then trained home, reach home, bath, online. That's all about today, boring aye? Im working tomorow but i feel somehow sick, k merepek. Im actually okay but the thought of going to work tomorrow makes me sick. :(

Oh and yes, i almost forgot about this, shall type it out for you for the 1st part alright. :)

Fad: Emily, did you fucking cursed me?!!

Me: Ah? What did i do?

Fad: I just saw Hazmi on the mrt you know!!!!

Me: Oh is it? Okay. So?

Fad: And yesterday i saw.. *pause* Ayun *in a slow tone*

Me: Ayun?! *smiling* where?

Fad: Skatepark, im with Fieza.

So from the moment she told me this, it was stucked in my head till now. Why am i so weak that i can't even let go. Fuck my life. Seriously.

Bye i got enough.

Im done with heartaches.

Im done. Im giving up. I know its time to let go. There's no point holding on to someone who don't even care about me anymore. We are no longer talking, i have no more to say to you, you are a different person. I must say, other than Hazmi i love you the most, please don't ask why, i really don't have a answer for that..

I broke up with you, i know i "dumped" you. The reason is because you no longer love me. You changed, it hurts me. I know you don't want to be with me, i know very well. So i asked for break in order to make you happy. I'm always looking forward for every tuesday cause i'll be able to see you. But now, i am no longer looking forward for it anymore. It hurts to see you and myself becoming strangers. We are just merely strangers who fell in love with each other before.

I love you. I really do. I must let go. I don't want, i want you back. But you are a different person, i know i was the one who initiated the break up between us. I did it for you, not for myself. You must be thinking that i no longer love you, thinking that i've already forgottten about our love during the time-out you asked for which lasted for a month. You are wrong, completely wrong.

But whatever it is, i know its time to let you go. Im sorry that i hurt you, im real sorry.

I love you very much. :'(

Start anew and kiss the future

Hello hello readers! I would like to wish all of my chinese friends/readers a Happy Cheena New Year! Haha, well i know i have not much chinese friends, but who cares right?! So yeh, shall start blogging from New Year Eve alright!

As i mentioned, Farris & Fadhila came, was expecting more but they got to go home, so yeh boo. Haha, its okay [: So back to topic, after they left, Justin came over, then me and mom went to Teckwhye, then went home. Had 2nd round of reuinion dinner, sedaaaaaaaap! Haha went to sleep at 2am, shag to the max zzz.

Woke up at 8am on 1st day of New Year (Yesterday) Bath, prepared everything, had breakfast without Eugene & Yongsheng as they have to go Liondance. So after that dad drove us to Ubi ; Sintua. Took pictures, then stay there till 11.30pm.

Shag to the max, again. But have angpao, nyhahahahahah! :p So im okay with it. Noob didn't came, but he texted me, sad eh. (HAHAHA NOOB, I DID SAID IM SAD HORZ.) But not sad la, ah whatever -__- Went home, sleep straight away after washing up.

Woke up at 11am ;D Mom & Edmus is out to buy Mac for us @ Bpp ;) Quickly come back, im famished! Okay la, im done with blogging, pictures time yeaha! :D






1st picture : Auntie Clare, Baby Wanxuan, Me & Yeeru ;)
2nd picture : Year 2005's & Year 2010. (Me and Yeeru) LOL
3rd picture : Daddy!
4th picture : Mommy!

Im done, bye readers, tag me!! [:

Soul sister.

Hello. I changed my blogskin/template and im satisfied with it! :) Im no longer pissed already, hehe yes i am weird. :/ I always change blogskins whenever im unhappy, BUT that doesn't applies to heartaches, h3h3z :3

So yeh, time now is 04.18pm and i'm god damn bored. I've took a much clearer picture of my nails and its very beautiful okie. Muahaha! Okayl la, im so merepek here o_o

Okay, so gonna have reunion dinner later'on, and Fadhila might be coming over to my crib and lepak. I got no idea yet cause its not confirmed yet :/ I am missing her already, meh. Okay whatever.

So now i do have a problem with myself. And i hope i can move on, god bless me with the strength please. I've been dreaming of him for the past 2 days, like wtf. Hmmmpft!

Why is it that when i sees him online, my heart pumped even faster?
Why is it that whenever i sees cats i will think of him?
Why is it that whenever i walk pass the bench that i always sat with him i will be sad?
Why is it that i still can't remove him?
Why is it that im so weak in moving on from him but not from anyone?
All i can tell myself is that i really need to move on,
why loving someone whom don't love me anymore,
someone who is no longer someone but a new someone?

This hurts badly, it takes time, step by step and then i'll reach the point when someone will take over him, meanwhile, i have to take the first step. Which is to stop viewing his facebook profile whenver i comes online to facebook. Can be done? Ah merepek.

I've been repeating the word "Merepek" on my facebook& tweeter. Haha, im being random anyway, im not refering to anyone, hahahaha okay merepek.

Hmms, i don't think i'll blog for tonight and tomorrow? Well i got no idea, tomorrow is going to be a long day for my family and temple's committee member, and oh yes, i'm seeing noob tomorrow, the noob who always call me kid. Okay bye readers, leave a tag alright. :-)

Muacks! Happy advance chinese new year, oh and yes, i almost forgot, this is the picture of my nail! Hehehe, its handmade okay, fiq said i went to a manicure shop to do it, dam farny. Hahaha okay here you go ;)



-

Editted @ 8.35pm ;)



So this 2 idiot just left my house! Haha, i had fun with them although its just about 45 minutes? :) Wanted to play 21points and Taiti with them but Fadhila gotta go, hmm bummer -__- So yes, i was kinda disappointed uh, takpe la.. So Farris ate all the prawns, cause my mom asked him to, bahahahah! So he ate and he got Angpao from my mom!! Hahaha, happy nampak! Bluek! :P

So they left after taking photos, hmm im on msn with Bob, Nelson & Js. K bai~

Can't deny my unhappiness

Okay 3rd post! :) Wellwellwell, today i met The Usuals!!!! I MISS THEM HELL LOTS. Well, it was kinda awkward at first, but seriously, i miss school now alot cause of them! :(

So yes, i went to Farrer Park and met up with Fadhila, Aisha, Salleh & Salleha ;) Hi-5 the kids, hugged Fadhila! :) Hehe, then we went off to Douby Gaut for KFC! (Wise fadhila, cause she knows im v sad so she chose KFC to make me happy, hehe) So we had KFC!!! :D Sedap siaaaaaaaaaah!! So after that we trained to Yewtee ;)

Saw Farris!!! So salam him, then alighted at Yewtee. Then walk to Mahmood's house, then went to Fieza's house. Hehe, then off to Ahmad's crib to lepak! I miss those days when i always go lepak there with the usuals, playing 21points, play guitar, disturb people etc..

So we took pictures and i tried something new with Fadhila. SECRET! :P Then lepak till 7.30pm, train home. Home, bath, spring cleaning. Wtf, shag to the max sia.. Went to bangkit, then went back home.

Finally came online at 10pm, chatted with Fana, uploaded the pictures and here i am. Was chatting with Farhan just now but he went offline. Well, thank you for your advice Farhan! Hope to see you soon alright?! ;D

So im kinda worried for Adik cause he is upset, uhmm. Cheeer up lah Zoom, you sad hor, cannot zoom. Okay merepek. HAHAHAHAHHA.

SO TOMORROW IS NEW YEAR EVE!! ANGPAO!!! E71 WAIT FOR ME LOL!!!

K CHALO!

A note to be taken seriously

Was bloghopping around. Im on a Malay boy's blog, he has a Chinese girlfriend. Both of them is so sweet! ^^ Well, this make me think of my ex malay boyfriends.

I have 4 ex. Izad, Nelson, Hazmi & Ayun. As you can see, 3 malay, 1 chinese. The reason for the only chinese cause i have no faith in chinese boys. Yes, call me stupid la whatever. So yeh, friends, brothers, family, have been asking me to go for a chinese guy instead of malay. They are not being racist ah, its like, Izad, Hazmi & Ayun had hurt me alot, more than Nelson did.

My expectation is not high. I just don't know how to let people in my heart. I don't care about what my friends say about my stead. I admit, i only got for Malay guys.

If there is a chinese guy who can make me change my mindset, i'll go for it. I just don't want to get into any relationships now, i don't care you're malay or chinese.

Please, im so sorry. I don't want to get into any relationships. Please leave me alone if you want to keep on asking for my acceptance. Im so scared of guys, heartbreaks.

If i turn into a lesbian one day, don't be shocked. Girls are better than guys, like seriously. Cause they know, what is our needs and our don't needs.

Im done, bye.

You act as tho its none of your problem.

So last night was a long night. Don't really want to talk about it. Just wanna fucking forget about it, for once.

So today i woke up at 7.30am, bath, headed out. Reach bustop, saw Fake Yoga, Fadhila called, and 961 was being nice today, cause there's empty seats for me, ha ha. So Fake Yoga was like sitting beside + infront of me and i was kinda shocked uh, cause he is like staring at me. So yeh, skip this. Alighted at the same stop as him, went to office.

Just 2 more days to V day & Cny. I am not excited about it, thanks for ruining it, yes its for you.

Karma will be back for you, trust me. You won't find your other ex like me, i broke up with you is because of You. You forbided me to call you Sayang, you even said that your mom hates me. What are you trying to say? Get straight to the point dude. You wanna break but you don't want to be the bad person. FUCK YOU, GET A LIFE AND A PAIR OF BALLS. YOU = HARDCORE? KISS THE FLOOR. _1_ I am extremely upset with you, but i do accept your apology for you hurting me with your changes. Just pray that every tuesday i won't be seeing your face, god bless me and You!

I wasted my time on you, fuck you.

-

Okay, sorry. Was pissed. Well i wanna say something to one of my "only-chinese-ex". Nelson chua, stop apologising to me, i don't blame you at all okay? I know you're going through "stress" now. Chill, you're 17, you have friends for you, you have me (your favourite assy) and your baby, Fiona! Call me up if you need help, okay?! Cheer up Ass!

k bye xx

See you crying is my happiness.

Hello! Well, i've thought it over for 2 days. By running away from the fact is a coward's action. So i'm going to face it. So yeah, i really want to get over this.

I've been calling up Fadhila everynight from singapore to malaysia. I told her everything, and i felt so much better. Both of us had made a deal, stay single till we can find a guy who can really treat us well, who won't let our tears drop for nothing. :)

Well, today is Thursday. Im late for work, i woke up at 8am, feel so lazy to go for work, but i still did :/ Bath, went out. 961 to work, and heck! There's so many mad cute chinese guys, and one of them looked at me, i almost melt! HAHA JK :P But he is really cute, really!!!

I just had lunch with Kk, Venu, Shalini and Rathna @ ABC :) While our way back to office, saw Fake Yoga, lol.

So yes, going home straight tonight and sleep early, damn shag. Anyway last night, i went to Shengshiong with parents, it was a last minute plan tho :/ So bought groceries, and saw Jacinda & Safiah there.

Oh yeah, show you guys 1 picture yeh!



From left to right: Charlotte, Mylen, Lynn, Fred's boyfriend, Selvie, me & Rathna ;)

I look like a faggot, okay whatever. Hahaha, screw my hair there! Hahaha! Chinese new year is coming, i wanna get myself a new phone, E71 please! :p

Okay lah, im done. Anyway Fadhila is coming back! Nyhehe, bye & tag me!

I said "i miss you", you said "what else you wanna say?"
i said "Nothing else." Then you said "Zzz bye"
GREAT HUH. BEAR THIS IN YOUR MIND,
THE EGO IN YOU CAN RUIN YOUR HAPPINESS.

not anymore

Hi readers :] Well, just to inform you guys that i won't be updating that often anymore, don't bother to ask why anyway. Hmm, im still at my workplace now, watching GossipGirls on Selvie's IpodTouch.

Well and yes, im done. I got no mood in everything anymore. NOT ANYMORE.

chalo.

I don't want to feel this way for you again.

Currently in school. I doubt i will be blogging tonight. Well. I shall take this chance to blog about today then :)

So today woke up at 7am, bath, chiong, go out. Talk to Ilham for awhile, then took 963 to school. Met _ _ _ _ at the bustop, and we board the same bus too. We were completely strangers, we didn't talked, we only exchanged glance. Its not a good feeling, like seriously.. Skip this, make me sad only wtf...... _1_

So went to Smartroom1, late like usual. :P Then sat the back, Mrs Lum's class, lemme tell ya, i fucking hate her, bias nk mampos sia, fuck her. Lol.

So went for lunch with Aslina, Evangela & her friend. Had KFC!! Took 105 there, and Rizal was inside, shock much. Lol, whatever. Then took 106 back. Wanted to skip like what i did for the past 3 weeks, but i didn't, hiak :p

I passed my 1st test for Customer Service! And i didn't studied for it, i sumpah. Haha and i got 34/50 sey! HAHAHAH okay im lame :p Well, i expect myself to get 5. HAHAHAH, and i have full marks for multiple questions :p Okay la, im like a 7 yr old kiddo bragging her result, wtfuckingshit. Lol -_-

So while we are on the way back to Mrs Tan's lesson after lunch, saw _ _ _ _ again with Aidil.. I swear, i hate myself for that. I don't want it to happen again, i don't want to see myself staring at you anymore.. Please, get out of my life, sight, mind, heart. :(

So yeh, now im having Mrs Seetoh's lesson, well. She is nice but very very very very very naggy. And i have to call her the 4th time then she comes to me, -_- I was disturbing Faris just now thru facebook, hahaha!

I saw Elysa today and i talked to her! And she told me something, and i was... Somehow sad and happy. I don't know, i seriously don't know, i don't wanna go back to those times when i always cry and think about you... :'(

And to you, im sorry for what i said to you, i didn't meant to hurt you, i don't wanna get into relationships/don't wanna love anyone. Im so sorry, please move on alright? Afterall, friends last longer than couples. Do you know that? Im so sorry, but no worries, i will still be there for you, mr hawt. :)

I saw you once, my mind is in a wirl.
When i saw you the 2nd time, im officially sad.
I miss you alot, ah fuck, whats with me?
Why am i like this, i thought i've moved on?
Or was it, when i saw you, the memories are back..
When i fetch you from work.
when i go lunch with you at the staff canteen.
When i went to find you after my interview.
When we lepak underblock everyday before you go for work.
When i hugged you like as if i will lose you.
When you bit my cheek and then laugh at my reaction.
When you kiss me when you are off to work...
When i was loved by you, when when when....
Haiz, please, get out of my life.....

I'll do anything it takes to make me happy.

Morning! *yawns* Okay, time now is 7.11am. Shall not waste time and start blogging.

Headed to Pending to meet Pendek @ 12pm+, then took 700A and alighted at FEP. Then we walked around while waiting for Viv & Cheryl. Met them outside Chippy. Then went to buy our stuffs. Bought 3 bangles, 1 pair of scandals, 2 dress.

Then had lunch at KFC cause we can't find LJS. I told Fana that LJS is closed, and she insisted that there' LJS -__- So we went around, and i was fed up and famished, so i asked people. They were like "Err, ljs no more already? *look at me like weird*" -___- So we had it at KFC!!! BAHAHAHA KFC IS THE BEST XD

Then after that, wanted to head to ION but something stopped us. Pfffft, forget it. Haha, so went to FEP to meet up Hady! :) Haha, damn awkward but ok la, luckily i am not that shy.... Haha wtf, selfpraise -__- Then after that, he left for his lunch and me, Viv & Cheryl cabbed to Gombak while Fana took 190 home <:

Then reached Gombak, did our hair. God damn... Its so fugging long zzzzz Then after that, i did my eyebrow too, i look damn.. lol!! Okay whatever -___- Then had dinner at Al-Ahzar (i think?) then saw one mad kute guy!!!! Hahaha, and i was like "Wah cute!" LMAOZX, OKAY IM LAME.

After that, trained back with Cheryl while Viv took the other line. ;) Then i Lrt home, reach home, changed, and watched tv. Long day, sibeh shag. Then went to Bangkit and bought dinner for daddy.

Hady called till i was sleepy, mhmmm. I love his dream, HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! Okay la, later you paisey.... :p

So yeh, monday sucks. Neverm, shall show Selvie my new hair!!!! Nyahahahah! And i doubt i can come online tonight? See how first lah okay? :p

Okay shall end off with a picture of me, Cheryl & Viv :)



Time now is 7.15am. 4 minutes, im so pro. I have amazing and fast fingers, lololololol!!! Okay la, shall go and get a bath and probably seeing Yanto and co at Pending again~ Chalo!

Morning sunshines! Well today i woke up 3 time. 1st time was at 8+ Then 2nd time was at 9+. Last time was at 10am. Woke up, took money from Mom. $_$ LOL. So after that, washed up, brought breakfast for Dad & Granny & Brother. & Myself, cause i never eat dinner last night..

So now im blogging, msning, tweeting and tumblr-ing. And i just screwed the posting page via mozilla fox, shal ss for you people later on, idk how to restore it back! Im such a noob, hahahah whatever, you don't laugh la cb. Lol im crazy, ahahahahaa.

So Cheryl just called me, oh i can't wait for later! Well, im going to get my hair rebonded today, foooooyah!

Haha okay, wait for my post tonight alright! Or tomorrow, idk, SHIT TOMORROW IS MONDAY. WHY DOES WEEKENDS PASSES SO FAST?! :(

Tuesday is coming, clementi ite again. *shrug* -.- Fuck, cannot cabot already, if not mampos. Hahahah, okay la, i shall enjoy today first!! :p

Chalo~

3rd post, for people who are upset, like me.

3rd post for tonight, i know its very rare for me to post for the 3rd time, well i think its a worth it if i were to post tonight.

Moving on, its removing a portion of memories away from your brain but not your heart. It may be hard to remove it, but its a worth to do it. If you manage to do it, you won't be living in denial, you won't be crying and stuffs anymore, and better still, you will have better guys coming on your way very soon.

In order to do it, its very simple. Its just that whether you wanna give it a try anot. You have to agree this deal with god, and not with satan. If you agrees with god, tada, you have made 1 big step! :D *Kudos* I've been through this, Nelson, Hazmi & Ayun. 3 of them, each has their own good and bad points. But i have never ever regretted knowing them, loving them, being hurt by them.

My first matured love was Hazmi, it was very hard to move on. And now i've to admit, i've not moved on 100%. But i know i can do it, all i need is time. I'm doing very good, i've used up 3 nights to think about what should i do. I cried, and what i knew was to Start To Love Myself.

Some of my friends are going through r/s problems, and i exactly know how they felt. If you can't communicate, find a way to solve it. If not, leave them. Stop hurting them if you have no intention of find a way to solve this problem, cause you're nothing but just a faggot.

Moving on is really hard, but if we were to move on, we welcomes the better future. If we don't, we'll be stucked in the past.

My friend, Avanders use to say this to me. "In front of the path, there's better and more routes for you to go, continue, don't stop there. Don't go back anymore, its so dark, and you're all alone." Get it people?

Most people might be thinking "Emily mcm fhm je, kimak" or "Geh kiang nia, nabehcb" or whatever shit you can think of. If you think this post is like too parasan, i welcome you to leave.

To my friends (You know who you are, esp my Sistalurp)
Im here, don't worry, we're on the same boat! C'mon, happy go lucky!! :)

xx emily with lurbz

All the single ladies!

Okay hi, shall start to blog ;) Left work at 12.30pm, took 855 to Vivo. Then headed to Cck. Wanted to head to Simei but it was cancelled and they headed to Pasir Ris, then Fieza called. So after thinking, i decided to head to Cck instead of Pasir Ris :/ So sorry guys!

So reached Yewtee, met Fieza there. Then trained to Cck. Had lunch at Food Culture. Then went to Aries. Then headed to my house. While walking out, saw Thasvin!! (happy us!!!) And Thasvin was so happy to see us!!! Hahaha, then we took picture too ^_^

Then we headed to Pending, but alighted at Bangkit cause of one minah staring at us, cheebye. Think your boyfriend got angkong daisai ah, cb. Lol. Go and bang wall and make yourself prettier lah please, wtfuck. -__- So took the other train and home!

Took pictures, had hell lots of fun. Then went online, webcammed with Hady :) Hahah, then after that went to buy dinner for Granny. Then send Fieza to Pending. Then i went home.

Uploaded the photos @ facebook already, do go and check it out, there's my ezlink card picture and Adik is laughing at it, damn! Hahahah! Its okay anyway!! :) So go and check it out yeh people?!

I wanna go and do my stuffs already! Heh and im starting to miss............ Nyahaha, secret! :P Blueeeeeek! (I know you read my blog, hehee)

Okay la, enough said, im so going to town tomorrow and get my hair done!! Chalo!!

Im married. :O

Take a look at my husband, nyahahaha! Call me Mrs Lin pls, okay kidding. Haha, well i started to get crazy over him ever since i know Nelson on 22nd June 2008, so yeah, i doubt i will ever get over Yoga Lin. And Nelson hates him! Tmd, no taste lah you, rofl!! :p I want his another version of his album, the $40 one, anyone buy for me for Valentines day? ^^


I was late for work, when i reach, Linn & Jonny said i'm the latemaster, hahahaha. Mcm sacarstic gitu eh, takpe la, haha! Then boss wasn't in the office, so the office's atmosphere were kinda livlier compared to weekdays. :) Selvie used Linn's facebook and wrote stuffs on her wall, hahahaha! I ss it already. ;)

So today after work, i will be heading down to Simei to meet Yimling and co. Can't wait, yay! And Hady is working today, hope he get well soon!! :)

Okay im done, i'll blog again tonight!! Chalo~

Empty heart.

Proper post, i know you guys have been waiting, people have been asking me to post a proper post, so tada here you go people.

Today i woke up late, like again. Very kecoh sia, you guys won't want to see my kecoh side, cause very auntie. Bath, was fed up with what to wear, so i just wear anyhow ah. Everything done, rush out. Headed to Pending.

Saw Ilham, Tszakir, Yanto, Khairuddin, Bob and 1 more chinese guy. So talked to them for awhile, and as usual, they disturb me ah, kurang aja. Then i left and took Lrt to Bukit Panjang. Took 961, fucking one lesbian actually asked me to sit beside her and i was freaked out, so i tak layan and she keep on smiling to me. Oh my god, but mcm cool ah, even girl also want me, lol.

So alighted, went to office straight. Had lunch at ABC with Selvie & Kk. After that went back, didn't do much work. Borrowed Ipod Touch from Slevie. Then at 6pm, left for home.

Took 961, lrt home. Reach home, bath, online. Here i am blogging for you guys, well im working tomorrow again, till 12.30pm. So should i head to Simei ITE with Yimling & co or head home and sleep? Okay, i shall head to Simei tomorrow then.

I didn't came online for 3 nights, i think i failed in forcing myself. But i don't care, i'll continue to force myself to forget what she said to me. Shall not talk about these.. Cause i must and i will do it, just takes time. But i will force myself to make it possible as soon as possible.

And yes, i met a new friend name Hady. And he is a nice guy la afterall, hmm i didn't let him know that i'm posting about him, so after posting, i shall let him know, cause he commented my pictures and here i am posting for him, nayahahah. So i owe him a dinner date, cause he gonna belanje me. Hady hady, make a mixtape for me sooon!!! Hahahaha.

Okay im done, on msn with Hady, Gummy & Huzaifah now. Chalo, you guys better tag me sia.... Hahahaha bye!

Sampai menutup mata

This song...

Just let me slip away.

So okay, i think im going to blog for today. Have not been coming online for the past 2 nights, reason is because i have no mood so. So shall talk about yesterday and today aite.

I went for work yesterday, spoke less than 20 sentence @ office. Left workplace at 6pm, reached Panjang in 30 minutes. Was feeling very down and didn't felt like going home. So i alighted at Cdss, waited for 184. While waiting, met Huzaifah Bucks, he was on the bus. He grew fatter but in a chubby way, haha. So 184 came, alighted 1 stop before, walked back.

Met Tina & Yingying at some block, they were with XiaoCandy & XiaoJae, (Victoria sissy, remember? Lmao!) So didn't interacted with them, and Tina say i very dao, hahaha. So headed to Coffeeshop, had dinner ;)

Then Ying left first, so left me and Tina. Then walked to Petir together, and i went back home. Lepak with Gummy & Cammie for awhile, i miss 'em alot, alot alot alottttttttttttttttt. So lepak for awhile, went home. Home, wash up, didn't came online, was very fucked up with everything around me, i don't understand why even my mom said i've changed, fuckkkkkkkkkk. Ah fuck lah, i don't want to care and talk anymore la, seriously, im so fucked up with everything.

Slept at 12+ after calling Fadhila, told her everything that i felt, felt better.. Mhmm, keep the secrets okay Fadhila? :-) So went to sleep, woke up at 7am today, bath, went out to Pending. Saw Ilham and 1 more guy, waved to them as usual, then went for work.

Left work early as i was feeling unwell. Reach home around 5.30pm. So tomorrow is Friday. Damn, why does time travels so slow?

I hate working, and today i nearly lost my temper and wanting to shout at that fucking merepek lady. Think im easy to bully ah? Push everything to me, wtf. Im only a trainee, not a official staff, you fucking get it? Don't fucking push my chair and say "oi" to me when you wanna talk to me, go and fuck yourself lah eh, cb. Fucking no manners, mcm sial.

I think im going to hate You from now on, seriously. Just 1 day you see, i'm going to quit my traineeship just because of you, you see je, pukimak kau. _!_ Don't fucking push my limits, just you see, you wanna scold me for my lousy chinese? If you wanna do so, use your brain. Your english sucks to the max, seriously. Get a life please.

i need someone to talk to, i need a hug terribly. but seems like nobody is the right candidate for me to spill my unhappiness stuffs out, nevermind. I shall wait for 12th.

I got no mood for this year's chinese new year, i think its amazing, V day is coming, c'mon, why am i affected? -_- Fuck. Seriously.

Fuck. My. Life

inactive,

will be updating soon, :(

again and again, i failed.

i wore black top & bottom today.
have colourful sexbands on my right wrist.
wearing grey flats.
my hair is long enough to reach the end of my backbone.
my backbone problem came back, _1_
im gettin sick of everything.
i don't know what's with adult's mind.

going to have lunch in about 20 more minutes.
going to have dinner at subway with tina & joshua today.
going to have a shopping spree with fana @ town this coming sunday.
going to be unhappy soon.

facebook's prediction says that surprises is coming on my way, regarding the one who i love.
well well well.... im starting to get scared, seriously..

k la, bye. i update about yesterday tonight okie.

Ugly ugly ugly!

Hi everyoneeeeee. Haha i think i am mad and gettin sick soon. So shall talk about today.

After work, headed to Harbourfront and train to Cityhall. Then met Sera there!! So happy to see her again, hehe. :3 Went to meet her friends, one of her friend look exactly like my ex boyfriend, Hazmi. Like seriously, omg. And i kept looking at him, seriously, look so alike.... :( Eh why am i sad? Wtf, stupid me.. Argh whatever _1_

So we went to Funnan Mall and had Kfc ;) That Kfc had alot of memories for me. Cause that day we were having excursion and we went there for lunch with the whole of class 4D. Then that was the day when i start to got close with Sera! ^^ Hehe, miss those days, like seriously......

So had Zinger! :p Talked alot with Sera, told her every single thing and i felt so much fucking better! Hahaha, i love you Sera! Then we left for Mini Cafe. Played board/Card games, seriously, i kept laughing man. Haha!

Had so much fun with her friends, seriously. Hehe, and the guy who look like my ex is seriously cute to the max, but i don't like him, when i sees him, i think of... :( But nevermind, its okay. So we laughed like mad people, we acted, we smacked, we laugh, we shout, we screamed. Haha! We played Uglyuglyugly!, Dirtyminds (Sera's favourite eh.. ^^) and some others that i forgotten :x

So we stayed till around 5.30 and i headed to Outram park. Walked to SGH and went to visit Grandpa. Felt happy when i see him smiling, i was expecting him to be unable to even move. Haha, i hope his blood vessel won't burst anymore so that he will still be alive.. Haiz, sucks right, i don't wanna write these on my blog, sorry.

So i went home alone after having dinner with Granny, texted with Sera & Vivien at the same time, reached home, went online. Was on msn with Fadhila, Irene, Fiq & Fana (:

Pictures time, but only 3 je, cause i malas nk upload lagi :p





1st picture : Fadhila, i love you too la, hehe!! :D
2nd picture : That's harith, the guy who look like my ex.
3rd picture : SERA SISTER! (Taken by Harith)

Wellwellwell, why aren't you online? Hmm... Its okay. Anyway tomorrow going to school, SUCKS TO THE MAX!!!!!!!!! I HATE SCHOOL. LMAO.

Because i say so, you shall face it.

So im currently at my workplace. Going to SGH later'on to visit my grandpa. Mom said that if his brain were to bleed again, he is gone from us. Felt kinda upset, cause im the closest to him as i work with him when im 11 year old till 15 year old.

I hope for the best then, i don't really wanna talk about this. So yeh...

So last night i was feeling very down, and i got no idea what to do..... Sedih nk mampos sia aku.

Chalo.

You told me that you missed me, oh yeah?
Dear boy, you made me living in doubts again.
You told your ex that you hated me the most, you're just using me.
But you told me to not to cry as you'll feel heartpain, you said you misses me.
What is the truth, what is not? You nk tengok i sedih gile babi lagi?
Aku sayang kau, tapi kau mcm tak sayang aku, tapi kau ckp kau rindu aku.
ape ni? haiz.