My one and only non-chinese sister.

As refering to my title, im not being a racist oke. Well, this post is dedicated to her. I seriously miss her alot, we seldom contacts, when she is online, we don't chat as she will always go "im busy" to me. When she tells me that, i am indeed hurt but i didn't really want to think of it and and just pray that she won't forget me.

So i misses secondary life, take note, its "misses" instead of "missed". Whenever im in class, she will be like my 2nd boyfriend. Cause i always sleeps during lessons and she will go "tan huang nam, wake up and stop sleeping like a pig" She is the only person who can call me Pig. And if other people were to call me that, she will laugh and get pissed. Haha!

I miss her alot, seriously. Those moments when we laughed, we got mad at people, we disturb people.. We skip lessons, we cut queue. To you people, it may be nothing. But to me, it meant everything. The last time we really had fun was when we were decorating the hall for the NT & EXPRESS's graduation ceremony. We fought over the balloons, we played around, we ate macdonald's. We were like sisters, seriously.

Both of us has something in common, which is to eat & laugh alot. Now we're seperated, i haven't met her ever since our N level results was announced. Which is about 1 month ago. She has her own friends, as for me, i got no goodfriends or whatever fucking friend in the office, nobody was like Sera.. And i've not been laughing so loudly for so damn bloody long....

Sera, i miss you hell lots. I seriously hope, i'll not be downgraded to the last of your list. We made a promise, sisters forever. Do you still remember? Or have you forgotten about it?...

-

So the most assy guy name Nelson Chua just called me and he is being so assy you know. This is our convo.

Nel : Hello, you at where? I'm waiting for you then never come aaaaaah!
Me : Hello, huh? Home la! Wait? Go where? Never jio me!
Nel : Sembawang park la! Take cab now, i don't care, better come.
Me : Oh your bbq hor, never jio me, now then tell me, sucka.
Nel : Idc, but i got tell you ley, come now, i don't care.
Me : Crazy la you, i cannot go out already, you very last minute ley.
Nel : COME NOW!
Me : I cannot la!!!!
*background sounds : COME LA EMILYYYYY*
Me : Eh, how come your friends know me?
Nel : Of course la, you Pop ley, somemore you're my Ass.
Me : Wtf, shut up la fucker, idiot.
Nel : What fucker? I haven't fuck you.
Me : Whatever, i cannot go tonight, sorry. Want next week lor.
Nel : COME LAAAAA. *pass phone to Fiona*

Damn hilarious, seriously. He is guailan as ever, asked him to not call me ASS already. Make me angry only, sua, this week your birthday week, i pangsua. Haha, PEACE k. I owe you 1 meet up okay, we'll meet soon, ASSY ^^

I can fall asleep easier when i cries.

Hi readers! Haha im mad, lol jk. Today is the last day of January, all i can say is January wasn't a great month for me, i patched with Ayun, i broke up with him after 2 days for just H & myself. When i went back to H, i got to know that he don't love me. Got real upset with him, so i went "quiet" for 3 weeks, and people think i changed... So overall, january seriously sucks! But nevermind, febuary will be better! :3

I hope Febuary will be a better month, yes i know, the major events on Febuary are Valentine's day & Chinese new year. Like hello, i don't give a damn to Valentine's day la plz. Its just a day, duh. And its Chinese new year man!! Angpao, nyhahaha! :p I can't wait for Febuary, its gonna be daddy's birthday! What to buy for him?..... Boxers? Ok set, boxers. HAHAHA JK :P

So today i woke up, brush teeth, Gummy called, so had a chat with him! Then went online, bath, webcammed with Farris. Damn, he is being as bitchy as ever, he very bastard also, when i call him Snufflepagus, he called me "You belong to the 3 little pigs" Bastard sia..... Is Charlie Fat Angels la bodoh nie elephant, tsk! I got photos of him when we webcammed, hahahaha seriously, muke die tak perlu sia, rofl.

So he is coming over to Bpp later to sk8t with Alson, Akif, Hadi & Suhaimi. And i asked him to come over to ma block, hehe and he agreed! Yes ah! Can meet them!! Heheh! So yeh, back to topic. After chatting with him, chatted with Fadhila & Safiah ;)

Ate chicken rice with Eugene ^.^ And he fucking waste my $$, damn never eat finish. _1_ Lmao! Then right now im still on msn with Safiah ;) Shall upload the pic of me and Farris aye. :]


Shall reply tags nao.

@Fadhila, biase la tu, i'm always cute. Hiakhiak, kidding. Tak la, not him la lmao!
@Jein, thanks for passing by! (L)

When i love you, i know its gonna be so hard to quit loving you.

So yeah hi everyone, i fucking cried again last night, im such a stupid girl. I cried and cried, till my eyes are tired.

I can feel someone talking to me last night, telling me to love myself first, cause i have been treating myself the worst and i treat the only one in my heart the best. And whatsmore, the only one in my heart doesn't even care.. Sad and disappointed much, seriously.

Alarm rang at 6am, i off it and went back to sleep cause i went to sleep at 2am last night, geez. So woke up at 8.30 and i was fucking mad at myself, so i woke up and went to bath straight away. Then texted Linn and informed her that i'll be late, haha clever me :p Then took 961 as usual, reached office around 10+. So means i have to apply for 1 hour leave, damn -__-

Didn't did much work, just updated the service report only. Took picture with some of them and left for Cck. Missed 961, so waited for around 10 minutes and took the 2nd 961. Then changed to Lrt and reached Cck around 1.43pm.

Waited for Fiona for about 15 mins and we left for KFC :D Saw Raihan, Syafiqah & Izad with his girlfriend. Izad turn hot, lol chey, whatever. Didn't got to talk to anyone of them, lmao. And met Ira Boinboin too! Hugged her as i miss her so damn much! x_x

After having our lunch, headed to Popular. Saw Yoga Lin's album!! God damn, i called mom immediately, asking her to sponsor me the dvd, hehe. And she agreed! And i was grinning all the way, hahaha!! Lol, okay then we headed to the rooftop, watched some performance, well its okay la, but i think one of the female singer spoiled the whole song, right Fiona? :)

Headed to toilet, then after that went home. Took lrt with Fiona, took the Senja line. She alighted at Fajar while i alighted at Pending. :) Reached home, watched the Yoga Lin's dvd! The dvd was great, hehe. I love Yoga to the max, Nelson shall burn me all his songs to me, cause he promise me so :p

So changed, online. Here i am. ;) I took pictures with Fiona today, its on my Facebook, so go and check it out yup ;)

I got no mood today, i got no idea why. You know what sucks? I seriously miss you and seems that nobody likes seeing me loving you. I got no idea what the fuck is wrong with them.

Like what adik wrote on his blog....

"We're in the same boat. You bail out first.
Cuz u can't take it. I pull u back and u all wet.
You hear all the stuff u shouldn't hear, You got hurt inside, its bleeding now..
& i just got a plaster for it

On the other side im crushed
My heart crushed into million pieces scatter to all places
into atoms that u can't even see

Well we got to move on.. we'll keep rowing the boat that we made"

The reason for the bolded sentence is because that was what me and him were talking about last night before he went offline. I have nobody to talk to but only Adik. He is the 2nd guy whom i can tell my problems to, the 1st guy, is no longer there for me.. No longer and he left me hanging there alone.

When people starts to tell me stuffs that i shouldn't be hearing, i starts to tumble and i will have to start all over again, being happy. Its hard, you people ain't in my shoes, you people don't fucking understand me. I seriously hate you people big time, yes each and every one of you, sisters? brothers? bestfriends? mates? members? fuck yourselves people, _1_ this is for you.

You people keep on updating your status, msn pm, saying that "people change" whatever shit. Eh hello, im working, not playing around with new people that i met.

I DIDN'T FUCKING CHANGED, YOU PEOPLE CLAIM THAT I'VE CHANGED, SO OKAY, I WILL CHANGE AND LET YOU SEE WHAT IS CHANGED. OKAY DOKIE?! _1_

@Jelyn, hey hello. Okay will study hard.
@Kathie Kate, added.
@passerby, thanks. And i don't know who are you? What answer? o.O
@Berlina, Im changed.

It won't take long, i just needs time.

Back to post 2. After work, headed to Lot1. Fucking traffic jam, but its okay, i had a great time sleeping in the bus sitting beside one grandma who can't stop crunching on her tibits. How cute, but she make me hungry x_x

So alighted at the usual stop, took train to Cck. Waited for Joshua for about 15 minutes, headed to Mac for dinner. Then off to CottonOn and headed home. Had a great dinner while reading Joshua's script. Haha, i miss drama ):

So got home, bath, online. Not really in the mood, but no worries, no hatred. This is between me and you. Although i have no hatred, but you won't know what will i do next. You want me to move on so badly, people want me to move on so badly, i will show to you what is move on from me.

Till when you see me no longer updating my facebook, tagged, twitter, blog, tagbox, msn.
That is when im moving on, that is when im forcing myself to not interact with people.

Chill people, im not trying to post this to a particular person, its for everyone. Do you know that if i can move on, i'll move on when im with Ayun? Have you ever thought of this? Don't say Yes, say No. Cause you people are always forcing me to move on immediately.. I SERIOUSLY NEED TIME AND CONCERN.

When im with A, i do love him. But not as much as how i love H. I know im selfish and self-centered, but hello. I was so naive that i thought by being with someone, i can forget someone. That is a naive way to do so, instead of forgetting, im falling deeper. And im so wrong, seriously.

A treated me badly, H was sad over what A did to me. H asked me to perservere, i did. A indeed treated me better, but it didn't lasted for long. H told me that in his heart, he loves me, but in his mind, he doesn't. After thinking of what H said, i took 3 weeks to come up with a decision. Is to break with A and go to H.

And when i went back to H, H told me that he don't love me at all. H told me he love somebody and he said he got himself a new life, new love. Ever wondered, how am i going to face this? It was fucking hard, i cried till i can't cry anymore, i lost my appetite completely. So when i asked H to last long, H keep on telling me that he wasn't attached, he even sweared to me.

So just now, H's ex came and talk to me and told me that she was the one who H was attached to. I cried when she told me, but i was thinking, its already the past. But i don't know why am i crying when she told me. I just feel the hurt in me is growing and coming back to me..

So sup people, tell me, how to move on? If you can do so, i applaud for you, but that doesn't mean you are fucking great, till the extend of forcing me to move on immediately.

Please, although i may look strong, happy, firm, inside me im not. The reason why i look happy cause i don't want people to think that H & A are bad eggs. And its also that i don't want my friends to get worried because of me. Im trying, really trying. Nobody knows im trying, seriously, nobody.

Please. Give. Me. Time. Cause. I. Am. Just. A. Ordinary. Girl.

@safiah, thanks for dropping by, ^^
@ Fana. Great, thank god weekends is coming...
@ Jwml,♥, thanks. You stay pretty too. Okay will link you up.

Happy 17th Nelson :)

Okay hello readers, haha im right now in at my workplace, 1 more hour to go till i knock off :)

I wanna wish my first & last chinese ex unofficial-boyfriend, Nelson a happy 17th birthday!

Stop calling me "ass" okay you sucka, when i sees you tomorrow with Fiona, you prepare to die. Haha, right Fiona?! :D So and yes, you owe me maggie mee. :p And great picture right?! Of course, i edited it! Haha!

So yesterday, nothing much lah. Morning went to Pending as usual, saw Yanto, Ilham, Khairuddin :) So went for work, had lunch at canteen itself, mhmm food suck much but i still ate it cause Yi Han say i waste food. Lol, i will remember what he say..... HAHAHA. Till 6pm, i was the first to leave office, hehehe! Took 961, slept all the way.

Home, online. Slept at 11pm, early i know, cause i was tired to the max and i was very bothered with something..

Woke up at 7.30 as Granny woke me up, and i was fuggggging late. So quickly bath, and head out. Saw Yanto, Ilham, Tszakir and Khairuddin again, haha! Then off for work. Reached workplace, till 12pm headed to Central and had KFC!! :D

Then now im still at the office, 6pm coming! Going to Lot1 after work straight, buy my shoes and dinner! :D

Shall reply tags nao. :-)

@Yingxue, okay sure! :)

@ Fadhila, of course baby! I love you too ^^

@Sotong Queen, hello kak sotong! aku nk makan sambal sotong! Haha, k lame :p Okie wokie, will link you ^^ Don't call me tom yam, be more direct. Call me "Hot" HAHAHAHHA!!

Oh yeah, and see this too, i couldn't tag everyone, but just read la! Here you go.............

The world of love is so big that no matter how much love you put in, its never enough.
The world of love is so big that it can be filled with 100 kinds of unhappiness.

The world of love is so small that when you have the 3rd person in it, it get humid and one
of them will be dead due to lack of oxygen.
The world of love is so small that when you accidentally stepped over it and it will be gone.

What's the conclusion of this 2 paragraph?
The conclusion is that, don't destroy love and do your best to make one & another happy.

BYE!

lazy lazy

im lazy to blog.... bye!

& to fadhila, i wont be online already, tmr then talk. i love you ^^

Every ounce of confidence i have.

Hello everyone, shall talk about yesterday, but i will summarize it, no worries :) So i went out late on purpose cause lessons is fucking boring. So reached already, Viv told me she got stomachache, not going to school. So i took 99 and headed to Boon Lay. Met Viv, and wtf, she immediately got well. So bitchy right, haha! But nevermind la, hehe. Went to her house. Used laptop, bitched about (insert name)

So went out again to Yio Chu Kang, took 72 and went to Amk ITE. Met fana there, went in to her school, feel weird but of course its better than Clementi ._. Got cute guys dok!! HAHAHA :p So after that walk to some bustop, saw Farris, Fakhrullah, Hakim ^.^ Farris grew fatter, seriously. And he fucking kicked me, damn. Talked to Hakim & Fakhrullah too :)

Called Idris, met him at the bustop and we walk to Amk Hub :) Then he and his friend left while me, Viv & Fana went to Amk Hub's Macd. So if you guys are my loyal readers, you will know why i love that Macd. :) I will always remember that day.... :)

So after that, changed to ITE shirt and walked around Amk Hub. Then headed to Sunplaza ; Sembawang. Then slacked there, after that Fana went home and me & Viv headed to Boon lay again, waited for Yi han :) After he came, Viv left and me and Yi han went to withdraw $ and headed for dinner. Had Mac and damn, i kept laughing cause of his english. LOLOLOLMAO!!

Then he send me to interchange, waited for 180 together and i took bus and he went to meet his friends. Thanks Yi han for your treat, you're cute la ok.... HAHAHA ^^ Don't call me kid anymore!!! :D So i went home, bath, online.

Today, i woke up at 7.30 and im late cause i slept quiet late due to the cryings last night.. Went to pending after gettin ready, met Yanto, Ilham and 1 more guy. So talked to them and i missed the bus! Ilham laaaa. Lol, then they laughed when i say "see my bus left!" Haha, but its okay, they made me smile in the morning, great start!

Took 961, then had rice for lunch, got my pay!! Happy like crazy, for a few minutes only.. Then at 6pm, went home, took 961 again. Passed by Cdss bustop, then reached Pending, saw some of my juniors.. Reach home, bath, online.

Msn with Fana, Cammie, Kak fieza, Fadhila, Irene & Shikin. I changed my blogskins & songs. With a new tagbox too, cause alot of people malas nk tag cause very leceh kan?! So i created this one lor....... Haha~

Congrats to Suhaimi. Im happy for you, i hope i will be lucky like you, but no..

Babyboy, although i went for dinner with someone who likes me, it reminds me of you.
We had dinner at Jurong Point, remember Jurong Point? I know you do..
Remember Amk Hub? I went there yesterday and i feel so upset.
I miss you, alot. You know? No you don't.... You don't care for me anymore..

You can say im stubborn, i won't deny but admit. The picture that i've posted today
is on my office's desktop. Im sorry to say, last night i cried my heart out. I wanted
a hug so badly, but i can't do anything, i don't wanna confront anyone pouring out my
problems, i will just keep it to myself.

Question to myself. Do i still love you?
Answer is.. Yes i do.

Im still stuck in the past, i know.

im a weak loser. still wanna be friends with me? no.

It all takes time prove it, and i have the time.

Hello everyone!! Shall start blogging and get to sleep by 11.30pm. Very shag, somemore tomorrow need to go to school, haiz. So today i went to work. Took 961, then reach around 9.05am.

Didn't did much work, same old routine la... Boring & sucky working life i've got. So till 12pm, i went outside and texted with Yihan & Fiona :) Then ate chicken rice, then stayed outside till 1.1pm.

Till about 6pm i went home, walked to bustop with Hooi Yee, then saw Fake-Yoga :p Haha, then i board the bus, and alighed at Timah. Went to look for grandma & grandad for free dinnerrrrr. Bahahah! Had sugarcane too ^^

Then took 184 home, bath, online. Don't really feel like going back to school tomorrow, seriously, i don't know why am i like this, first time im feeling this way, i guess i really feel very uncomfortable with my new classmates. But whatever lah eh, only on every tuesday peh.. :p

So tomorrow i shall meet up you-know-who and have dinner together, kinda excited but nervous too, but heck, lol!

Today i got kinda fucked up during working hours, i know its my bad for not controlling my emotions but wtf, when a girl is having her menses, you can't expect her to swallow every nonsense you gives her right?! Omg, im very pissed of, as in just now, not now. Haha! Only 1 person know why am i angry.. Bobian la, im only a trainee.... Tahan!

So now im craving for KFC again. Fana says im a KFC maniac lol. Oh and yes, this is for my adik.

Danial, i miss you with the sunshine smile on your face in the sense of through internet. I know its nonsense, but i know you have not been smiling. So please may god lead you through this unhappiness so that you will face a better tomorrow. Don't worry, you & kak deserve better partners. We are still young, we have time. Okay adik?! :) Brace up then i belanje you okie.

Okay, am so excited for tomorrow's dinner. Hwahwakwak~ Gonna call up Fadhila now! Yes, from singapore to malaysiaaaaaaaaaa ;D

On msn with Fadhila & Lingsheng :) Byeeeeee.

I have alot to say, but whenever i tries to say...

I GOT MYSELF A POSTER OF YOGA LIN YOU JIA ^_^

Okay shut up emily, haha! So today, fana abused me, she cracked my finger for just one song by justin bieber. Mean hor.. See her kechik mcm budak kechik, she is strong and definately not innocent(: HAHAHA!!

So yup, i posted rubbish on Fana's wall using her account and Shehnaz likes it. HAHA!! And then after that headed to Bangkit, then send her to Pending and i went home.

Was texting with Yi Han the whole afternoon, as in till now too, and seriously, he is such a noob. Haha, but takpe la! ^.^ Haha, gonna share everything with Fadhila sooooooon! (READ THIS AND EXPECT GOOD NEWS FADHILA BAMABITCH)

I was on msn with Cammie & Gummy just now!!!! I miss them alot!! I hope i get to see them soon like seriously. Meet me soon you 2!!!!!!!!!! Let's go for eggs & kopi sessions!!

So yeah, im right now smsing with the noob & msning with Rena :) I updated my blogsongs and i think im so gay... HAHAHA. But whatev, as long as is not JoBros, Miley, Demi and so on, hehe.

So i think lady luck is on my side, and i hope that i can seriously move on. My last try, shall not put much hope on it, cause i've learnt my lesson. If i manage to move on, i will appreciate my effort and also god's blessing. If i don't, i will continue to try my very best, is impossible for me to stuck there and miss you all these.

I think im clever enough to let go when you are so stupid to not come back. So im gonna be clever for this time, wish me luck people :) P.E.A.C.E ^^

If you happen to see this, you get this into your head..
If you can prove me that you're better than my ex, i'm yours :)

Just one day, i hope you'll still care for me.

• on facebook chat with yi han ^^
• made him promise me something if not he GG.com
• im at home alone like one loner with my dog, hope he won't bark out of sudden lol
• i want to be eighteen soon so that i will be a adult :p
  
• time now is 1.10pm, going to bath at 1.15pm :)

shall update again at night okie. bye!!

Unrequested heartbreaking news.

Hi everyone. Today i went to work late, i sat dad's car, and they drove me to work as its raining heavily, reached workplace around 9.33am. Earpiece is still attached to my ear, the song that Fadhila send me last night was on repeat mode.

So didn't do much work, found the keychain that i use to hang it on my handphone. It's a very special keychain to me and i treat it as my treasure. So today me, Selvie & Yingnan ate the new egg roll from out pantry room. And we're addicted to it and eating that makes me happy! Haha!

Had lunch with Venu & Slevie. And they asked how am i going to spend my Valentine's day. Haha, how cute. They thought i will go pa-tor or something, rofl. But i told them that i'll be more focus on CNY instead, bahaha!

Around 5+, bosses left the office. So i went online, chatted with Fadhila. Then Someone chatted with me. Not everything will be like what you want, all you can do is to just, feign ignorance. I do admit i cries for you every now and then when i misses you. But that doesn't mean you have to feel sad about it, if you don't admit the fact that you know i will cry, you won't feel sad. Please, seek my advice, do stuffs that makes you happy, like... Soccer matches, your favourite.

Im sad, its enough. I don't want you to be sad because of me..
Moving on, its hard. If i can, i will do it on the 5th november 2009 itself..

So skip that part, i went to bustop straight, took the 1st 961, fucking fat lady fucking pushed me for 1 empty seat. Nabeh, you sucker. I hope you will fall/sit on shits. So while walking to bustop, nearly got bang like again. My fault, cause i wasn't looking left & right, i just walk. Lucky never bang me, if not...... You'll see me in hospital. Lmao... Okay not funny..

So i _ _ ied on the bus, damn silly. And i fell asleep till Fahmi texted me. And i can't sleep back already, damn! So i alighted at the same stop, wanted to walk home but too tired. So train back.

Home, bath, online. Fadhila managed to make me smile like i did during this afternoon, and i guess. Its gonna take months for my real smile to be back.. I shall not blame you, i will take all the blame, its all my fault. When im sad, i won't be showing out, cause when i does, i don't get what i want, instead i got negatives comments.

So yeah, from today onwards, i will keep it to myself only, Its the safest yet most painful way, takpe, da biase.

Emo & sad post, damn. I hate emo periods...... Fuck!

With a broken heart left unmend, things will get terrible.

Hello, sorry for my post yesterday, due to yesterday's post, quite a number of people asked what happened. So what i can say is nothing wrong..

So last night i was texting with Gummy & Ayun. And Ayun make me laugh like one mad girl, cause he said he is cute & hot. Haha, kinda happy that we're talking like before already, last long with Yani okay Ayun! Make sure till marriage tau!! ^^

So went to sleep after that, woke up at 7.33am. Bath, went out straight. Took lrt then 961. Reached workplace, bumped into Linn so went to office together. Till 12pm and headed to buy lunch. Ate with Slevie, Venu, Linn, Fred & 1 more lady which i don't know her name. Then back to office, till 5pm+.

Around 5.45pm, Selvie, Yingnan, Pugal & I was like mad people. Mr Rick was like telling this to Yingnan & Pugal, this is the conversation. & For your info, when they are talking, me and Selvie was laughing silently... Haha.

Mr Rick : *pass the invoice to Yingnan* Yingnan ah, must change the name and the date and give it to pugal.
Yingnan : Oh okay.
Mr Rick : *pass a bottle of wine with a bag to Pugal* Okay Pugal, pass it to Ong Choo Bee tomorrow, remember Ong Choo Bee ah. Don't pass to wrong person.
Pugal : Okay.

So Mr Rick left, and Selvie went "He repeated Ong Choo Bee 2 times." LOL. So another conversation that happened yesterday.. :)

Phone rings* Slevie pick up the call.
Slevie : Hello Microbits.
Customer : May i know where did i called?
Slevie : Microbits Information.
Customer : Huh? Mygirlfriend?
Selvie : No, Microbits *her face turning red*
Then they hung up and Selvie burst into laughters. Lol~

So actually work is always fun, its just that i got nothing much to do. And i don't like it when jobs are being pushed to me when i already have some jobs to do, kinda sickening, but what to do? *big sighs* So overall, im still the only trainee there, its boring but its okay. I love it when i get free chewygums from Linn ^^ HAHA.

So i went home by 961. I went to a different bustop, with less people boarding it but with more people already boarded. So i board the bus with Fake Yoga :p Then i sat beside him cause only left 2 space :x Hehe, im so lucky. Lol, how i wish he is the real Yoga~

Then this guy boarded the bus and he kept staring at me, and i thought my face got dirt or what, so i kept wiping my face. Haha, i know im stupid. But anyway, he smiled to me, and he is one handsome lad! Haha, i didn't smiled but i kept looking at him, haha let'see if we'll still take the same bus tomorrow, if we are, i will smile to him this time, only if he smiles :]

So reached Panjang, walked to bangkit to help Linn to deposit her coins into her account, i can say that its damn cool! Walked home, bath, online.

Today i asked some of my friends this "If today was my last day on earth, what will you do or say to me?" I can only remember 4 answers, im very touched with their answer & i know i have them although i got fooled by boys. :)

Nelson said : i love u
Vivien said : i will cry till the whole singapore floods so that they will know i am crying for you and i love you alot.
Gummy said : i will ask you to buy my ciggs and i will say baby sis im gonna miss you.
Ira Meimei said : You're the best jiejie i ever had.

Im super touched with Vivien's! And Nelson's, super hilarious and he made me laughed alone for few seconds. Haha! & Ira Meimei cried, cause she thought imma commit suicide or what, silly. Gummy as usual, and yes i owe him cigs :/

Can't wait for Saturday to come, as well as sunday. All i know is, i don't want Tuesday to come so soon, please! Can't wait for febuary too, and march! Going thailand again & moving house :] :]

I know you don't really see my worth
You think you're the last guy on earth
Well, I've got news for you
I know I'm not that strong
But it won't take long, won't take long

The way you make me jump around in joy.

i went to work today, i recieved a bad news tonight. okay im done. bai.

Don't call me a wreck if not i'll show you whats a wreck.

Listening to : Sorry - Buckcherry.
Msn with Kelly Sist & Ruddy :)

So today i woke up at 6am, spam call Vivien till 6.30am. Then gave up, bath, went out at 7am. Took 184, then alighted at Clementi Station. Met Vivien then took 106 to Clementi ITE. I swear im like super kiasu, cause i don't know how to go and me and Vivien followed those ITE students to school. Like lollllll right?! Ha ha!

So went in already, met Shehnaz's neighbour, but i forgot her name but i know her! Haha! Then we talked for awhile already then she went off already. Sean approached me and i was like "er hi." Lmao, not on purpose of course, haha.

Then one of the teacher bought us into smart room 1. We were late, LOL. So went in, alot of people was looking at me and what i did was to scan everyone's face and too bad, no hot guys. HAHA LOL :p Then stayed till 10.44am, Mrs Seetoh bought us around the school. Saw ASLINA & EVANGELA! SO HAPPY!!! HAHAHAHAH.

Then went to idk what room, then all i know is 12pm was our lunch break :p So met Aslina, Evangela and their friend with me, Vivien and Tannah :) Took bus to Clementi, while on the way there met Aidil :) And as usual, he is still the same, haha!

Ate KFC! Then cabbed back school, Mrs Tan's lesson. Vivien went home halfway, so i was with my new classmate but i forgot her name :/ LOL ^^ Then till about 5.30pm, i fell asleep. Super tired, dismissed at 6pm.

Went to bustop with another new classmate but i forgot her name. LOLOLMAO. And she was from Westview too!!!! :D :D HAHAHA! Okay i know im very noob cause idk my classmate's name, lol! And yes i met Otang there!!!

I approached her and we was like "HI!" Hahaha, i swear she is god damn cute! We chatted as if is not our first time meeting each other! Hehe, then she board the 3rd 99 bus while i board the 2nd 963 bus :)

Reached panjang, went to community centre and met Jason. Had dinner then i went home while he went to play basketball (-:

Reach home, bath, online ^^ So yeah, and ya!!!! I wanted to do something to my blog but someone stopped me. What someone told me was right, what for kan? HAHAHA, use blog not everyone know. USE MOUTH LA! HAHAHAHHAHA.

PLEASE. DON'T. THINK. HIGHLY. OF. YOURSELF.
I'M. GONNA. TELL. THIS. TO. EVERY. BODY.

Please ask yourself, if i were to treat you like how you treated me, will you be happy?
This is my answer to your tag on that blog :)

Define support if you can.

Song playing : Broken Hearted Girl - Beyonce.
Msn with : iFiq & iFana.

Woke up at 7am, i snoozed my alarm from 6am to 7am. Power right! So woke up, bath, went out at 715am, took Lrt, then 961. Reached workplace at 8.45am, didn't slept throughout the trip for the first time since i started working 2 weeks ago.

Reach already, did usual stuffs, then left. 961 to school bustop, waited for Fana. Then walk in cdss, can't go in school, was worried like one mad girl cause i can't contact zoom and he is waiting for me inside!

Was kinda pissed off ah, why can't i use visitor pass sia? Like what the fuck right? This is our conversation:

Me : Uncle! Can we go in? *smile
Uncle : NO CANNOT (shouting)
Me : Huh why? Visitor pass?
Uncle : NO CANNOT. (shouting again)
Me : *thinks nabeh, you think you what fuck? just a security lah hor, cb.
Uncle : Your bother all go home already, you come for what? (shouting again!)
Me : *stares and tak layan.

FUCKTARD RIGHT? FASTING PERIOD STIL EAT! NABEH CHEEBYE, IM AT LEAST A OFFICE ADMIN STAFF, NOT LIKE YOU. SECURITY GUARD?! PUI LAH HOR, NABEH CHEEBYE!

Okay, sorry. Haha, i was fucking angry with him, i think his mind is corrupted or something, he can't even talk in a proper manner, fucktard. You sux la uncle, i hope you will get your karma back and i shall shout at you next time, just you see lah hor, fucktard!

So luckily zoom came out, hehe. Then we walk to bustop, while walking, kept talking rubbish with them, then 184 to interchange. Then zoom went home while me and Fana headed to Ljs. Then headed to lepak. Wanted to go Jurong point, but never.

So we went to lepak at i-d-k what block, then went to Asshidiq's block and stay there, but not with him la duh. Then went to Fajar and train back home.

Reach home, and wtf! I FORGOT TO POST THOSE CARDS THAT MY BOSS ASKED ME TO. DIE LIAO ME. Haha k back to topic, home, bathed, online.

So right now im on msn with Fieza and iFiq & iFana still. Tomorrow going to Clementi ITE already, can't wait!! Meeting Vivien & Shazlina :)

Im changed, you people will dislike the old me.
So whoever you think i've neglected, sorry, i didn't did my part as a sister, so what you can do now is to hate me, curse me, and forget me.

K? F O R G E T M E !

Misses!

I MISS NURUL FARHANA BINTE HARON.

Haha, currently on msn with Adik. :) Okay, i wanted to blog, but im lazy already. Anyway, adik told me that he thinks me and ayun look alike, hahaha.
He is not the first one to say that, lol.

ah ayun, we look alikeeeeee. hahah, im mad.

goodnight suckers!

Stranger to me, lover to you.

Song playing now is Taking Back My Love.
Just hung up with Fana Pendek.
Today i buey Fana and went with my dad instead :/
I met Baby Wanxuan today and i carried her ^^ So cute!
Im going to thailand again!!!! :-)

I went to Purmei, Ubi & Eunos.
Going to highlight my hair soon (like finally)
Going to change my look, just you see.
Going to do something about my life, just you see.

One last thing, im going to make the unhappiness in me disappear as its ruining my happy life.

I'm not going to fix those broken parts, you shall do it.

Hello everyone! I had fun today, so let me start elaborating alright! (-:

Woke up at 7am, again, i am so tired cause i slept at 1am last night, i can't sleep and im so sad. Only adik know why, hehe! :p Then bath after that, went out. Took 961, again one fucking fat lady stare at me, nabeh, i feel like slapping her.

So i switched place, and there's one group of cheena boys, wah, all very sachok!! HAHA, one of them smiled to me, but i tak layan, ego mah! :p So so, back to tha topic, alighted at the same old place. And i smiled to the guy this time when he wave to me, lol! How cute can strangers be, lol.

So i went to work, finished of writting CNY card, updated reports, then did nothing for 2 hours 1/2 minutes. So went online, then offline at 12.22pm. Took 961 to Bpp and then Lrt to Cck. :) Waited for Fieza. While waiting, met Fahkrullah, Billy (but he never see me), Shikin, Afiqah, Yanna, Larry, Jacinda, Ruifen.

Then when Fieza came, hug first!! Then we went to eat KFC ^^ Then walked around, went to rooftop, met Harvin that Ego King/Ahpek, then went off to Mac and off to Smoking area, saw Kael, damn disgusted, stare stare stare, wtf, want to smoke also want to sat sat. -.- Eeee! Then met Zahirah!!!! Talked with her, took pictures :)

Then off to the bluez as Zahirah left to meet her mom. Bought bands, then met Weilong, but he didn't see me, so yup. Then off to smoker area again, then off to CottonOn!!! :D

Then we went to handicap toilet room, very kecoh sia we all, but we had alot alot of fun. Hehe, pictures are all on my facebook, check it out yup!! :D

So yeaaaah, i had alot of fun today and Fana is coming tomorrow to lepak with me :) I can't wait, i think i'll ask Billy and Adik to come also? I don't know, see how first lah :p

Just now i was on msn with Steph, i've made up my mind and i won't change my mind already. Thanks so much Steph :')

And yes, i will always tell myself that i don't love you anymore. Yes, i tak cinta you lagi!!!!! *cries.

Trouble, please get away from me.

Okay, i hate blogger tonight, i can't upload photo! Stupid, nevermind. Haha, no picture, won't die. So shall talk about today!! :)

Woke up at 6.43am, bathed, got ready and went out. Stupid LRT again, always got push by fat ladies and old ahpeks! So mean to me you know, somemore some of them made me smell their armpits, urgh. What a great start of the day huh :p Hahahahha!

So didn't got to board the first 961 that came since i got there as its full, so waited for the 2nd bus. While waiting, saw Weicheng on bus 176 with Yongli (?) So he waved to me like he's very happy like that, haha! Then board bus already, slept all the way. Reach already, bought buns again :D Then went to office.

Did work, then went to ABC and had lunch with KK, Venu & Selvie, had Chicky rice and Durian Milkshake!!! :D Then walk back, slept (on purpose) HAHA! Then woke up cause boss wanted to see me, urgh -___- Then woke up, Selvie, Yingnan & Venu thought i'll get scolded by him, but no! HAHAHA :p

Helped him with the new year cards, then till about 5+, the person-in-charge from ITE called me up and told me that im enrolled into Clementi ITE!!! Yay, so happy cause im same with Vivien!! HAHA, shall start on tuesday!! I can't wait, but i want their uniform, but the person say don't need, *shrugs, but need to wear office clothes. -.- Geeez.

Then went online till 6pm, msn with Fieza :) Then went back by 961, saw the fake-yoga-lin ^^ Hehe, happy happy me~ Hahahaha, we alighted at the same stop and he seriously look like yoga lin man!!!! >< Oh and i saw Shanker too, but he didn't saw me although i walked past him, haha! Then went to Bpp :)

Met JASON GAN ZHI HUI!!!! ^.^ Ate dinner with him, told him alot alot of things!! I miss him so so so much!!!! And damn, he grew taller again! When i talk to him, i need to look up :( Jason, stop growing, please! haha, so had KFC, then he walk me home! :) Dinner soon ok Jason!!

Reach home, bath, online. Currently on msn with Bammy, Hazmi :)

Berlina sist, i miss you la! Aye, sorry never msn with you much le. :( Anyway i love you lots lots lotssssssssssssssss, <:

The broken pieces makes me useless.

So this is nothing but a emotional post, once again, i failed to smile to end off the day. Tomorrow is 15th and what i get was "u wait long2 sudah". H.u.r.t.s. t.o. t.h.e.m.a.x seriously.

Faced the moment of truth just now, was very ugly at first, but the ending part was beautiful. Although it's ugly on the outside, i hope the beauty inside stays. So yes, i changed. Im sorry and i really don't mean it.

Thanks to you, i changed to a new me letting people thinking im changed.
Thanks to you, i knew that you prefer the old me.
Thanks to you, my heart, our memories, i am changed, my attitude is changing, and i hate it.
Thanks to you, you were the first person to tell me that i've changed.

I went through alot with that player and caused my attitude to be like that, i became very sacarstic, very malas-nk-pujok-orang, very not-so-open-to-people. Thanks alot ah dude, i will remember for everything you did.

I want the old me, i mean the girl who can control her attitude and care for people, not like now. You told me to wait long2 sudah, i was hurt when i saw that, but i will take note of your message to me, i will change and i will hope for the best outcome that i can ever had.

I am deeply hurt, deeply upset. Now i seek for everyone's forgiveness, i don't mean to be like this, can't blame anyone, not even the player, blame for my weakness.

Lastly, im working tomorrow, and im invited to Venu's wedding!! Yay, but need to dance x.x
Just my luck, boooooo. But im just gonna have fun and forget all my unhappy stuffs.

Wish me luck darlings, and my tagbox is back!!! Tag aku eh!

I know you cares, but why didn't you show it out?

So yeaps, my blog is announced already, but on my facebook je, so its not really announced, okay whatever, im talking rubbish. So today i didn't went for work, reason is my backbone is killing me again, i've slightly sprained my neck (its okay now) and i had stomachache and i shit non stop from 4am - 6am plus.

So woke up at 6.30, wanted to go for work, but then i went back to sleep, then woke up at 9am as mom is bringing me to see doctor. Called up Selvie and told her that im not going for work. Then went to bathed, went out at 9.15am, consulted Dr Lo as usual, and i got medicines to eat this time, but too bad, im not going to eat it :p

So went to had breakfast with Mom at Bukit Panjang, after that she send me home while she go Purmei and open her shop for business. So reach home, online. Till now.

So im working tomorrow, saturday and off day!! Monday shall work again, sometimes i dislike working cause i need to wake up as early as 6.30 as the fucking 961 takes a long time to come, and adults are so kanchiong like busy bees, kept pushing me.

But i have to stay there for 1 whole year, imagine that! I think i'll collapse and absent myself very soon, somemore takde kaki gerek, no common topics to talk about. So yeah, i don't really like la, but i like it at the same time too, okay what am i talking about?! Haha.

So yup, my backbone is fucking killing me. Was on msn with Ilham, Hazmi, Fana just now, kinda boring yknow, haizz. Why is it that when im at home, time seems to fly as fast as it could, but why is it that when im at work, the time seems to be crawling like a snail.

Hmm what else to say, eh ya, i changed my playlist/widget already, cause flashfetiz or whatever you call it is so dumb, don't know how to repeat sia, dumb right. So i stick to Mixpod ^^

Okay i got nothing to talk about already, zai jian! :)

Tomorrow is 15th, do you remember? The sound clip of you saying 'hello baby!' is still in my phone, whenever im sad, i will listen to it and smile. There was once i called you up when im at Lot1, and i told you that whenever i hear your voice i will be happy and you called me Gila. All these are memories, but i just hope we will have the chance, fate to start anew.

Love you always, your babyaiko.

I will love you with all my heart.

Okay hello, my first post with my own picture, so comel. Lmao, im kidding. :p So yeah, i went to work today by mom's car and i taught her how to go like how does 961 goes, im so smart! Haha, before that we send Brother to school, and i miss school.

Saw Thasvin walking to school with his brother, saw Shakir crossing the bridge, saw Zul crossing the road, i feel like going back to school, for just 1 school day. So okay, reached my workplace at 9am sharp, i bought my favourite bun to start off the day!! ^.^

So did my usual stuffs, updated the reports, daydreamed for 4 hours plus, can imagine? So went to lunch with Lynn, Selvie & KK at Central. Had KFC ^^ Made me think of fana pendek shit like elephant.

After lunch, went back to office, day dream again, then Mr Rick gave me last minute task, i love last minute task as time will fly damn fast and soon it will be 6pm!!!

So had dinner with Vivien as usual, it was a very small world as my uncle knows Vivien's dad for years and im very very shocked! Haha, so yup, left around 8+ and headed to Westcoast. Then off to Bangkit.

And mom bought me new headphone!! ^.^ So happy, hehez. :P So reach home, bath, online!! Changed my blogsong and the widget. So cute la Hello Kitttttttttty (-:

So now im on msn with Snufflepagus & Hanif. Going offline already, so shag.

Tomorrow is another working day, and Farid texted me to go back to school for drama practice as the Sec 1's are joining, but i can't make it, i miss drama practices like hell. I miss acting!!! LOL, i sound so haolian -.- But its okay, this blog is only between me, fana, ira meimei, snufflepagus, ifiq & fadhila.

I've decided to wait cause i love you alot.

Chalo!

If i were a boy, i'll be a lil not so ego to make it fair for all ladies.

So today i went to work as per normal, decided to not even care for Md Hairul aka Ayun anymore, i cared for him as a friend, he replied "im fine with my new girlfriend". So he is trying to hurt me afterall, too bad i wasn't affected.

Today while working, i got nothing much to do, so i just listened to songs and reminiscence, expecting myself to hate Ayun more. But i end up thinking of Bestfri. And my tears dropped, never thought im so weak, expecting myself to be stronger than before after going through all these shits.

So Huzaifah got sort of mad with me, and i was really blur, i don't know that i can't ask/say it out. He sound mad, annoyed, like seriously.

So i went to meet up Vivien for dinner as usual, then bus back home alone. In the bus, was thinking and asking what exactly do i want, isn't it enough trouble that i gave my friends and people around me? I feel so angry, with myself and i fell asleep, waking up with a ultra fat guy staring at me as if i ate his mom.

So i went back home, bath, online. Did nothing much, i just feel sad.

I can't move on. I can't let go. I can, but i don't want, i am reluctant to.
Im fucking stubborn i know, but how i wish i know why am i like this.
15th is coming up, if we hadn't broke up, it will be our 6th month.
Md Hazmi, saya rindu awak sangat sangat, awak tau tak?

Okay my malay suck to the core. I just want to say, i miss you alot alot. You know?

I miss you calling me bi and then hug me so tightly. :(

I try to be perfect, but i always failed.

Okay, i've created this blog for no reason as i closed my previous blog. As for now, this blog is a secret between me and Fana. The reason why is that i wanna type out everything so as to make me feel much better.

So last night, all i can say was great. I've talked it out with Hazmi and to my relief, he wasn't attached at all or i can say yet. But still, i feel very happy to know he is still single. Last night Ayun texted me, apologizing to me and admited his mistakes, i was happy but sad at the same time.

I've already let go this relationship and i didn't thought that he will ask for forgiveness, that's what im happy about, but what hurts is that he sounds very emo. I hope he will regain his happy smiles once again. Cause he don't sound himself.

So people have been asking am i okay, in actual fact, i am not getting any better, when im bored, i think of Ayun. I know its very silly, i don't wish to.

I hate this, *shrugs.